Osama Bin Laden died… That is the third death we are covering in our blog. Third time lucky. As Ravi Shastri would put it, “What a big wicket this is”. We wanted to include tracer bullet pun here but somehow couldn’t quite come up with one. He was in Pakistan (Now there’s a surprise.. No really. Ask Musharraf.). A city called Abbottabad. He was hiding in a huge mansion which had no internet and phone connection apparently. We have not been happier to tell about somebody’s death. We were reserving it for Kasab but it looks like the Government will never do it (*cough*votebank*cough*). Anyway this is a huge news. But there is only a small question in our mind (most people’s mind we should say). Is it true? Has Osama really died? We hope so and we will write this blog with the positive attitude. If he releases another tape, we will apologize later for giving you false info. Okay?
Fox News, charmingly different as always, called the dead man Obama Bin Laden. You stay unbiased, Fox. Good job. We should be glad they did not cover it as African-American kills an elderly man from the middle-east. Coming back to topic, this is a significant day in the history of the world. When was the last time someone who was not ruling any country had terrorized millions? Apart from Himesh releasing a movie, we cannot think of one. May be in medieval times but we don’t know. Our history is as good as Keanu Reeves’ acting skill. He has been the crown prince of terrorism for decades now (we are struggling to contain a cheap Vivek Oberoi joke here). Anyway this fellow can be marked as Satan’s best disciple who tried to outdo his master. As Ozzie(not Osborne, that’s what we think OBL’s cool friends would call him) enters the doors of hell, Satan will be getting up from his bed of fire and coming to the door to greet him.
We have another good joke about 72 virgins which he will get (we mean OBL. Not Satan). This is something we read in Twitter. Have you noticed that they have promised 72 but there are no details on how they will be? They can be like Rakhi Sawant for all we care. Anyway some twitter fellow hoped that OBL would get his share of 72. But they should be 40+ and male. Wonderful. That is what we would wish too. We want to right an open letter to Satan on how to treat him but we are scared that since we do not believe in God that much, people would mark us in occult territory. We don’t fancy that. We also will not be referring to OBL as Ozzie as that was just a hunch we had. We are not friends with him.
A major point to note would be OBL was in Pakistan. So many people were of the opinion that that’s were he has been hiding. Except Pakistan Government and its officials. For someone who has openly supported Dawood and could not get enough proof that Kasab is from their country, hardly surprising that it turned out to be untrue. Even that creepy janitor from Scrubs knew that. But Musharraf was ‘surprised’ that they found him in Pakistan. Pak say that they were involved but USA says Pak was not involved nor were they updated about the raid being done. Let us not go to conducting raids in other countries without telling them. This probably needed that as we know how trustworthy they have been all these years. The man was hiding in a huge mansion two hours away from the capital and little distance away from a Military camp we have read. Now tell us how is it possible without the involvement?
We have not read the statement by Zardari but we are guessing that it will be very interesting. Considering that fact that they want to show the brotherhood that they support whatever crazy war going on but they do not want to lose the billions donated by uncle Sam. Even more interesting situation if you have noted the fact that Zardari is a cunning man. As cunning as Batman villain. Except with less intelligence and less super weapons. OK we don’t know why we wanted that comparison. We just wanted a batman comparison somewhere. We are sorry. Everyone makes mistakes. Let us move on.
Apparently the the fact that the dead person was indeed OBL was confirmed by DNA testing. Also apparently his body was given due respect and buried in the sea. Let’s hope no fisherman gets it. Also, why was there a hurry to throw away the body? And why was respect needed? A bloody terrorist died. And you give him 70% of the earth as funeral ground? Really? As we said earlier we don’t believe in respecting the dead. The Body should have been displayed like a prized trophy. Like the Karnataka/TN Governments did with Veerappan or Sri Lankan one with Prabhakaran. Was there a photo taken? Who shot the death shot? Will that soldier get a medal? Also, can someone tell us if Donald Trump has already asked to check OBL’s death certificate. How else are we to know whether it’s the truth?
By the way the stock market rose with the news of OBL’s death. Interesting. A terrorist dies and stocks of banks and software companies go up? We do not want to speculate stuff. Okay we will go ahead and speculate just one thing. The stock market people are idiots and do not have common sense. You know who else are senseless? The rest of OBL’s gang. They will be hoping to avenge his death. Next few months we may be seeing lot of threat alerts. We just hope that just like they killed OBL, they hunt down the rest of the pack. But it would be great if they can get it done in little less time. We are not very good at righting motivational stuff. We are usually negative and sarcastic you see. But anyway.. Die you bloody crazy fundamental bitchezzz.. Die.. There,for us, that’s motivational speech. Short and straight to the point.
Fox News, charmingly different as always, called the dead man Obama Bin Laden. You stay unbiased, Fox. Good job. We should be glad they did not cover it as African-American kills an elderly man from the middle-east. Coming back to topic, this is a significant day in the history of the world. When was the last time someone who was not ruling any country had terrorized millions? Apart from Himesh releasing a movie, we cannot think of one. May be in medieval times but we don’t know. Our history is as good as Keanu Reeves’ acting skill. He has been the crown prince of terrorism for decades now (we are struggling to contain a cheap Vivek Oberoi joke here). Anyway this fellow can be marked as Satan’s best disciple who tried to outdo his master. As Ozzie(not Osborne, that’s what we think OBL’s cool friends would call him) enters the doors of hell, Satan will be getting up from his bed of fire and coming to the door to greet him.
We have another good joke about 72 virgins which he will get (we mean OBL. Not Satan). This is something we read in Twitter. Have you noticed that they have promised 72 but there are no details on how they will be? They can be like Rakhi Sawant for all we care. Anyway some twitter fellow hoped that OBL would get his share of 72. But they should be 40+ and male. Wonderful. That is what we would wish too. We want to right an open letter to Satan on how to treat him but we are scared that since we do not believe in God that much, people would mark us in occult territory. We don’t fancy that. We also will not be referring to OBL as Ozzie as that was just a hunch we had. We are not friends with him.
A major point to note would be OBL was in Pakistan. So many people were of the opinion that that’s were he has been hiding. Except Pakistan Government and its officials. For someone who has openly supported Dawood and could not get enough proof that Kasab is from their country, hardly surprising that it turned out to be untrue. Even that creepy janitor from Scrubs knew that. But Musharraf was ‘surprised’ that they found him in Pakistan. Pak say that they were involved but USA says Pak was not involved nor were they updated about the raid being done. Let us not go to conducting raids in other countries without telling them. This probably needed that as we know how trustworthy they have been all these years. The man was hiding in a huge mansion two hours away from the capital and little distance away from a Military camp we have read. Now tell us how is it possible without the involvement?
We have not read the statement by Zardari but we are guessing that it will be very interesting. Considering that fact that they want to show the brotherhood that they support whatever crazy war going on but they do not want to lose the billions donated by uncle Sam. Even more interesting situation if you have noted the fact that Zardari is a cunning man. As cunning as Batman villain. Except with less intelligence and less super weapons. OK we don’t know why we wanted that comparison. We just wanted a batman comparison somewhere. We are sorry. Everyone makes mistakes. Let us move on.
Apparently the the fact that the dead person was indeed OBL was confirmed by DNA testing. Also apparently his body was given due respect and buried in the sea. Let’s hope no fisherman gets it. Also, why was there a hurry to throw away the body? And why was respect needed? A bloody terrorist died. And you give him 70% of the earth as funeral ground? Really? As we said earlier we don’t believe in respecting the dead. The Body should have been displayed like a prized trophy. Like the Karnataka/TN Governments did with Veerappan or Sri Lankan one with Prabhakaran. Was there a photo taken? Who shot the death shot? Will that soldier get a medal? Also, can someone tell us if Donald Trump has already asked to check OBL’s death certificate. How else are we to know whether it’s the truth?
By the way the stock market rose with the news of OBL’s death. Interesting. A terrorist dies and stocks of banks and software companies go up? We do not want to speculate stuff. Okay we will go ahead and speculate just one thing. The stock market people are idiots and do not have common sense. You know who else are senseless? The rest of OBL’s gang. They will be hoping to avenge his death. Next few months we may be seeing lot of threat alerts. We just hope that just like they killed OBL, they hunt down the rest of the pack. But it would be great if they can get it done in little less time. We are not very good at righting motivational stuff. We are usually negative and sarcastic you see. But anyway.. Die you bloody crazy fundamental bitchezzz.. Die.. There,for us, that’s motivational speech. Short and straight to the point.
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