the Insanely awesome and the just insane

How long does it take to proclaim a player to be greatest in his sport? Ah come on.. We are not talking about him. Please. This is not about cricket. This is about the beautiful game and the most beautiful way it has been played ever. We are passing a resolution that Messi be called the greatest player ever. Don't tell us that its too soon. Its been what, seven years in top flight football. We also will call Xavi as the greatest mid fielder ever and the trio of Xavi,Iniesta and Messi as the most awesome team of all time. We do not care if you think that we are surely talking as a Cule here. After watching the second goal by Messi, we wanted to officially announce that we are considering him as the greatest player now. Just ahead of another short statured, albeit troubled, genius Diego Armando Maradona.

We also want to smirk (or snide or boo or just laugh? we are not sure here..) at Jose "The Mouth" Mourinho. The special one as he is called by his fans, needs to go the place where "special" people are taken care of. Clearly he is losing his marbles. Or that win against Barca in Copa Del Ray has gone to his head. We are not sure what is happening. Blaming it on unholy nexus between referees and opposition manager has been his thing for some time now. But blaming UNICEF for his defeat is clearly the nadir he can reach. But again, we can be wrong (which happens more frequently than Ind vs Srl cricket matches). He doubts whether the UNICEF advertisement is the reason why Barca are getting help from referees. Any 'normal' person who has eyes and has seen the aforementioned awesome trio play, can doubt alien conspiracy. But Mourinho? No. He is special. Clearly.

Talking about insane people, let us talk about Congress Government. Let us make it clear. We are not talking about the one minister here. We would be baffled on whom to pick as our favourite. The ruling party rejected (we are really not sure why are surprised.. ) the report by the Public Account's Committee set up for 2G scam probe. We do not know how low a Government can go to protect the tainted ministers but this is something even Zardari should be proud of. Mr Singh is coming as a really bad person here. No we take it back. Madam decides all of this. We are not angry with you Mr Singh. You look more uncomfortable than a smiling Ajay Devgan. We just pity you for being the most spineless PM our country has ever had. We started calling you Mr Singh since nobody was respecting you and we thought you were a honest person. Now we may need stop that.

About the report, The Chairman of the committee would usually be a opposition leader, in this case Murli Manohar Joshi. Well, we know that MM Joshi has not been a great advocate of peace and justice. But still, expulsion of the chairman to get your message makes the Madam and her team look like they are scared of something. The Government even took help from Mayawati and Mulayam Singh's parties. Yes. The epitome of sincerity and professionalism, those two. We will go ahead and assume that we (not just us. In general) are to assume that the Government is afraid about having a probe? No. Do not go to innuendos and start laughing about PM and probing. That is disgusting and we (in this case us) are disappointed. No actually, we are more disappointed because we cannot make such jokes anymore.

You think we are biased against the Government and the Madam? No we are not. We comment on Yeddi as well. So don't consider us to be a BJP sympathizer. Anyway, do you know how many scandals have happened in last three years? No? Google it. No go on.. we will wait here.. Did you check? Yes.. There are many, aren't there? Every week so many new ones come up that you can actually play Superhit Muqabla. We can totally imagine Baba Sehgal rapping about the scandals while hosting the show. Ah. Yes. We would love that.

We have arrived....

Last blog we spoke about Bodhi Tree. What can you think of when you think about Bodhi Tree? Godmen. Well, divine wisdom but since such things stopped happening like hundreds of years ago, we will consider people who claim that they have divine wisdom. Also, we like this idea of calling ourselves us. So we will start that from today. We will explain, but let's start with a bulletin first.

Sathya Sai Baba died on Sunday. Are we sad? Not exactly. Now don't mark us as a bad person (Actually, we do not care.) because we do not respect the ethical idea of "respecting the dead". People whom you have hated or were indifferent to do not become great by just dropping dead. It may depend on how that person dies. If its in a huge fireball while driving a Lambo, it may. Anyways, we never liked the fellow. Sure. He has done some great charitable work. But as a person we never liked him. We are unsure on whether it is because of the Godmen part or because of all the sexual escapade stories. But we have to admit. He has spent thousands of crores on hospitals, eduaction, clean water facilities, sanitization. Indians shoulld be grateful to him. We will not accept him as a Godman. He has millions of followers. If he were just a social worker, we would have been too. But the moment you start comapring a good work to God work, things get complicated. We have never been fans of Godmen and politics that revolves around it inevitably.

We will tell you why we are against Godmen. Its not because we don't believe in God. We do. (Epecially after Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman, we also beieve he occassionally is kind to human race.). We have read Abraham Kovoor and AN Murthy Rao and have realized that all this magic stuff is pretty much balderdash. We did read them explaining all the stuff in some eye opening books. When Mr Kovoor repeated the tricks done by the Godmen and requested to meet the Godmen to discuss, they refused to acknowledge his request let alone reply. Its a shame. We would have seen some major revelations if he had met a few. He would have unmasked a few and brought them back to earth. While we agree that people need to believe in something to face their troubles, we would explect it to be themselves. Why not believe in oneself? If you can believe that God created Godmen, how hard is it to believe that same God created you?

And now we will tell you why, even with our Anti-Godman view, we will still aspire to be one. We have seen how the Government usually pimps Godmen. Ever since we started to think on our own (fairly rare occurence that. still.. it counts.. ), we have seen people in a position where they can exploit others. Now thats how powerful we want to be. We have seen many fraudsters acting as Godmen and cleaning up funds ( and knocking up ladies. Its a controversial topic. Let's not go there.). Because we want to be pimped as a power broker. First step is recognition. Who better to recognize the power that oneself? But we are not going to care much about others' opinions . We are not here for the ladies but who says no to money and power? (Now we do not drive on the other side of the road. We are married and committed to the one lady we have.)

The Government likes Godmen. Why is it? We think it is because they control a majot vote bank share. If they diss the Godman, they will lose the voters. Is it easy becoming a Godman? Step 1. You need to be good with magic tricks. I mean quite good. Step 2. You capture a few supporters and convince them that God above has sent you. Step 3. You are hailed as a God. Pretty straightforward that. Well, you (Yes. You.. there. ) think we may have some issues with common sense? History suggests that it has worked on many till now. And Money and power pretty much truimph goodwill. You can check history lessons if you want.

Now, just because we are at the topic of Godmen, we would like to take a moment and point our fingers and laugh heartily at Nithyananda. Agreed that he is not the first Godman who got caught "preaching" private lessons to a lady devotee. Few have fallen harder. But come on. How dumb do you have to be, to get caught? Almost all stories we have read which have Godman as a villain, have them doing lot if this "preaching" and granting children to childless mothers stuff. And some had CD angle too. If they had read at least one of them they would have been smarter.

Ok. We have just thought about another point and that has lead us to a slight confusion. Kings talk about themselves in plural. A King gets pretty good share of money and power as well. We like this idea very much. So we will do it anyway. But we are confused because we need to decide what we will be. A king or a Godman. We are planning to keep a good name for ourself as well. So should we be ChaTa chakravarthi or Chakotaananda, we have not decided. Please do email us if you can find a better name. Also, don't point about marriage. Marriage does not come in the way of being a King or a Godman now. Kings are married. And have you ever seen the advert of that Kalki fellow with a beard? He has a family. So do we. We need some time to decide.

By the way we saw a movie on saturday evening. It was called "Super" and had Upendra and Nayantara. It was the first time ever that a Kannada movie was screened in Charlotte. Now we were not going to miss this historic event, were we? We darned well were not. After sitting for two and a half head ache inducing hours, we had no idea why the movie was called Super. Dialogues, screenplay, songs, acting. None were. We saw a good example of over compensation we feel. The story is about how Karnataka becomes a super power by 2030. International airport in Mysore, everyone waering traditional attire, 80 Pounds per Rupee, white people as workers/cleaners/beggars/taxi drivers, Ferraris and other high ends cars as Taxis. Fantastic dream that one. We have been a great fan of Fantasy Genre (Except for LOTR. sorry you hobbits and the fans but a Snoozefest that one..). But this movie is a little overcooked. You need to back a good story with other elements. We sat through the entire movie waiting for Uppi's punch and we were very disappointed. Upendra is a good actor and a wonderful director and normally has his way with words like Fardeen Khan has with coke. We hope he comes up with something better next time.

Annavru twozaa.....

April 24. Two people were born on this day. Well actually many were born this day. Two of them went on to create history. Both legends in their fields. Two genii (well, geniuses is not correct. Google uncles told me) who touched many hearts. One is a legend in Arts and the other in sports. No. You are wrong. I am not talking about Jean Paul Gaultier and Alessandro Costacurta. I am talking about Dr Raj Kumar and Sachin Tendulkar (This is the only time the name will appear in this blog as some of you may still be struggling to think who the sport legend is. The man was and will be referred to as him or he or his) . With the knowledge that I may have pissed Raj "non-Marathi hunter" Thackeray already, I am going to  praise a kannada legend along with a marathi manoos.

Let me talk about him first. A lot has already been said about him. Still Indians never get tired of talking about him. He was a child prodigy.  Not the Mozart or Kim Ung-Yong type. But still a genius nonetheless. Scoring centuries in all three major Indian tournament debuts is no ordinary feat. Impressed by his performances, the selectors gave him an opportunity to showcase his talent at the international level when he was 16. (Thats right, the same age you were drawing hearts and in it writing the name of that boy or girl in your class) and Boy, did he. People still talk about Abdul Qadir's humiliation. Along with him, Waqar Younis also made his debut. Waqar's inswinging yorker for me is the greatest delivery anyone can bowl. Anyway, coming back to him, whoever saw him play realized that there was something special. I wonder what Rameez Raja would have thought considering how well chosen his words are when he praises any Indian player.

I am not fanatic about him. Personally, I feel Rahul Dravid is the greatest player India has produced. He is third in my list of greatest ever batsmen. (With RD being second, Guess who is first?).  I hope none of the cricinfo type fans read my blog. Else I will have thousands of hate mails for having my personal opinion. But I will take nothing away from him. He is a magical player. When he gets going there is nothing in the world that can stop him (except Optimus Prime may be but nobody has proof about that). The stats show that almost everyday is his day. But sadly the trend is such that in shorter versions if the opposition lets him score, the other team members will just fall apart. If he scores century the rest feel too awed to score I guess. Be it international or IPL, the team loses the match.

He has played some of the greatest innings' I have seen. 98 against Pak is the best ODI innings by an Indian, 175 against Aussies(remaining ten couldnt score 175), Two back to back centuries vs Aus in Sharjah,  I do not want to go on listing. Also, 99 international centuries is just mind blowing. The man has more number of boundaries than runs scored by many solid batsmen.  Donald "Holy-God-how-did-he-do-it" Bradman saw himself when he saw the little master play. I guess that says enough about him. There can not be another one like him. Happy Birthday Sirji. You have provided hope and entertainment to a country, you have made sure millions forget their troubles albeit for a brief period of time. As an Indian and as a sportsfan I thank you for being there for us.

Now coming to the lesser talked about person. Annavru as he is known to us. The legend, the star, the super star ( to rajini fans - Yes, he is.), Natasarvabhouma, Gana Gandharva, Karnataka Ratna, Padmashree, Padmabhushana, Dada Saheb Phalke Prashasti vijetha, Vara Nata, Rasikara Raja Dr Raj Kumar. I may have missed few here but you get the idea. For Kannada Cinema Industry, there cannot be a bigger star than him. For millions of Kannadigas he is the greatest actor. He did not resort to stunts, smoking , drinking or fancy style. He was the simple human being and it showed. And till his end, he was dedicated to Kannada only.

I for one started idolizing him late. Till I was 15 or so I never really figured out the persona. When i grew up, i started reading more about him and watching more of his movies. The more I saw, the more I was hooked. This man was better than all the actors I had seen before. Kasturi Nivasa was one of the first movies I saw. Till date I have not seen a better acting performance from any other actor.  Here was the great actor whom I had not cared much about till then. Kasturi Nivasa was my Bodhi Tree. Suddenly, Annavru became a major part of my movie watching schedule.   

All his movies, you can not help but root for him. He may be a crook ( Daari Tappida Maga) mentally retarded guy  (Mallammana Pavada) ,  a king (Krishnadevaraya), a patriot fighting for his rights (Mayura), A son wronged by his father and a father who has forgotten about his son (Babhruvahana), a kind hearted man facing a tragic end ( Kasturi Nivasa), a villain (Bhakta Prahlada) and the list goes on. So many versatile roles and so many memorable movies.  He was a part of life for millions. Almost everyone had grown up watching him fight evil and truimph. No wonder people were distraught when he passed away.

His legend is not just his on screen personality. Once the grease paint came off, he was this humble, down to earth man. He was a superstar who could change the course of an industry and if he really wanted, a state. But he always remembered that deep down he was "Mutthuraj", the ordinary man. How can any person who has studied till only fourth standard make it so big? Here is the answer. Humility, self-belief, loads of talent and even more loads of discipline. Just leaving school after fourth and standing outside the movie studios will help? Since most lack on the talent part, let’s just study, pass our exams and end our life by becoming software engineers, shall we?

Villains... Mwu Ha Ha...

Imagine you are in a cartoon series. Which character would you want to be? Bugs? Mickey? Foghorn Leghorn? If you are that kind of a person, Japanese Tentacle monster? It’s pretty obvious that most guys would go for witty male characters (although a study show that its actually a role in Savitha Bhabhi series) and ladies, the cute female ones ( Same study shows that its not Savitha Bhabhi). Why does animation make us feel so good? Is it the picture they paint? Is the wacky noises? Mindless violence? What is it that makes cartoons such a big hit? Kids, adults, people who think they are adults but are actually kids.. Everyone loves cartoons. I, like a normal child, have spent almost my almost entire childhood watching cartoons. But here is the interesting tidbit. I have always had these soft spot for cartoon villains. May be if Sharad Pawar or A Raja were cartoon characters, ( I mean fictional. They are like cartoons in real life but let’s not go there..) I would hv supported them.

I have watched hell load of cartoons and none of those power zone or action cartoons. Never liked them. From Johnny Q to Captain planet to Swat cats, despised them all. I mean if I really want serious action, I can watch Bruce Willis go “Yippikiyay… @!#$%^&*(&*^”. I do not watch Japanese anime either. I do not know what goes on in Japan but that’s some really weird anime they have. One example (decent one. Lets not even go to tentacle stories). Have some cute animals around and then let them fight the hell out of each other? Who comes up with things like that?

I know people like it when bad things happen to bad guys. You eat popcorn when the villains head explodes or sip coke while the villain is being hit by a iron box.But come on. Someone has to support the villains. Everyone cannot always support the heroes. There are some villains who should have won at least some battles. They are not really the wicked and psycho villains you see in movies. (Have you seen Saw? Disgusting or innerwear-wettingly chilling depending on what you are… ). These are the ones who induce a “aawwwww…”. The more you watch the more you want them to win. In some cases it is because some lead characters are as irritating as Catherine Heigl’s romantic comedies. These are the most optimistic people on earth. Time and again they fail or get humiliated but that never deters them from trying. They should be our idols for motivation and determination. Here I have the list of some cartoon villains who should have won some battles just as a thank you.

The Hooded Claw from Perils of Penelope Pitstop : The evil spectacled Genius is actually Penelope’s guardian. Always trying to kill the hapless Penelope and get Pitstop fortune. He should have won. She was never bothered about it anyway. Not once did I see talk business with the guardian. Always on some fun trip or the other. She clearly doesn’t deserve the fortune. And there was the Ant Hill mob and Chakaboom, a bunch of midgets and their car with a mind of its own. (kinda a like that car in Tarzan movie. Although only thing I remember is Ayesha Takia in that scene where.. Ahem.. Coming back to topic…). They always saved her although God knows why. I never understood why they were there. Bunch of idiots always making mistakes but saving Penelope at the last moment. If only Claw gets rid of the mob first….
Dick Dastardly - Wacky Races : Now here is an evil genius if there was ever one. Always finding ingenious methods to defeat his enemies. Always skipped the obvious methods. His dog Muttley was as helpful to him as Music in Akshay Kumar’s movies. Also, have you seen the mustache? How many people can pull it off? I always wished Dastardly will pull it off someday. Sadly they never gave him one…
Wile Ethelbert Coyote, super genius - Road runner : Obviously one of the smartest cartoon characters of all time and the biggest client of ACME. Pitted against one of the most irritating characters, this guy is 90% brains and 100% bad luck. Have you ever noticed that none of his plans failed because of him? Every apparatus he got misfired. Every single one. Still he was loyal to ACME. If I were him, I would have sued their ass off. Not to mention the road runner. Can someone explan that bloody creature to me? Enough already. The day will come when Coyote will have Road runner stew.
Duke Sigmund Igthorn - Gummi bears : Once the greatest knight of Dunwyn, he conspired against the King and was exiled. He is trying to capture the kingdom. And is stopped by a bunch of bears who get high on a juice made of some wild berries. The bears on the juice act more energetic than guys in spring break festivities. Igthorn has an army of ogres with him. He has smarter ideas but is foiled only by the doped bears. I wanted Igthorn to win only because the idea of bears getting high and jumping around in a forest freaks me out. Have you see how bears look when they are normal? Have you seen the claws? Now imagine them on “Berry Juice”. Yeah. That’s what I’m scared of.
Mojo Jojo - powerpuff girls : Was once the lab assistant for Prof. Utonium. After Powerpuff girls were born, he was ignored and became the evil genius who he rightly is. His fight is mainly because of the lost affection and the jealousy it stemmed. He is one of my favourite animated characters. The way talks especially when he says “I am Mojo Jojo “ is too cool.
Sylvester - Tweety Bird series : I was not sure whether I should mark him as a villain. But in the end I did. Not because he hates tweety and always tries to eat the yellow canary. Cats tend to do that. He is not doing anything wrong you know. But because he has not won yet. Also, Even I hate tweety. It gets on my nerves. I am not sure why. May be the talk, or may be the fact that it’s reminds of me a spoilt trouble making child. Good luck Sylvester. Keep the lemon juice and kosher salt ready. One day you will get the bird.
General specific - Sheep in the Big City : Not many may have heard about it. Sheep n the big city was one of the most intelligent cartoons I have watched. The irony and sarcasm were simply wonderful to watch. Its about a sheep coming to a city and a general trying to capture it to power his sheep powered ray gun. Don’t dare to ask why he can’t use any other sheep. Last person who did went to “the pit”. General also has help from Mad Scientist (Anguree… I am an anguree scientist). Totally awesome to watch.
Gargamel – Smurfs : Have you ever watched smurfs? Those little blue things trying to form an ideal society. Whats wrong you say? They have got loads of guys and just one girl? No wonder everyone is blue. Gargamel did smurfs a favour by creating smurfette. See. He is not that evil. A society with no females and he gave them one. Also, whats with the language Papa Smurf? Every friggin verb is replaced by smurf. “he is smurfing” can mean anything. It may mean he is reading or just that he is ‘thinking’ about Smurfette ….Also, whole smurf village idea being similar to communism etc. So Gargamel, enough with bloody magic which got you nowhere. Just drop a book on them when you see them next time.
Tasmanian devil - Looney Toons : Say hello to Sharad Pawar of cartoon world. Both have voracious appetite, both act innocent once done with the “swaha”, and nobody could make out what they say. Brothers from hell. When Satan sent Sharad Pawar to earth, he had someone to model after. It may be other way around, but I’m not sure. As I said earlier if Sharad Pawar were fictional, I would have vouched for him. No more comments.
Marvin the martian/ Elmur Fudd/Yosemite Sam – Looney Toons : I love Bugs. But he can be a pain sometimes. And we have three of the most adorable anti-heroes pitted against him. Especially Yosemite Sam. Pint sized dynamo. No villain can be more charming. It's sad that they are always mis treated. Being the greatest cartoon character in the world, Bugs is not supposed to lose. But once in a while can’t you let the other guys win? Where’s your team spirit, Hanna Barbara?
P.S : I am not allowed to use the swear words so I had to replace many good innuendos with decent humour. Especially for the Smurfs. Now I understand how tough writing is.

Tale of Three Cities...

Have you heard of Rio de Janeiro? Carnival? And the Brazilian music? You can see the splendour of all three in a movie called “Rio”. It is one of the most vivid and colourful animated movies I have ever seen. It’s the story of Blu (voiced by Social Network’s Jesse Eisenberg), a blue macaw. When he was a kid, he was smuggled and carried to US. He falls off the wagon accidentally and Linda, a little girl passing by sees him and takes him home. As it turns out, he is the last male of Blue Macaw’s and there is a female in Rio. In order to save the species and you know, reproduce and stuff like that, Linda takes him to Rio. Now, Blu is not an ordinary bird. He is smart and intelligent, but cannot fly. He is kinda like Bhoomika Chawla’s career in Bollywood, pretty and smart, but failing to take off. When he sees Jewel (voiced by wonderful Anne Hathaway), the lady macaw , he falls in love with her. But they are captured by the bird smugglers. How they escape the smugglers, how the pair falls in love and how Blu learns to fly is the movie.

There are three major supporting characters without whom this movie would have fallen flat. I normally do not like George Lopez and his style of comedy. But as Rafael, he provides able support. Jamie Foxx and Will.I.Am as Pedro and Nico are simply marvelous. They provide some of the best moments in the movie. If you look at the story, Its pretty average and nothing great. But the movie becomes a wonderful experience because of the music and animation. The Brazilian music has been utilized quite brilliantly. I am hooked to the songs. Especially “Real in Rio”, “Let me take you to Rio” and “Hot Wings”. This has to be one of the best movie soundtrack listings you can ever listen to. And animation. Words cannot describe how wonderful it is. The song “Real in Rio” is a delight to watch.

Hats off to Carlos Saldanha for coming up with such a visual delight. On a scale of 10, I can give it 7.5. Or may be 8. Because even with all the wonderful voice overs, animation and music, there is something missing in this movie. I cannot quite say what that “something” is. You see Kung Fu Panda, and then see Rio, animation and music-wise, Rio is superior. But somehow, Po is more likeable than Blu. Having said that, I am going to add Rio to my best animation movies. It is a must watch just for the animation and music, if nothing else. Ok Rio was the first city. For the next two, let us move to Spain.

When the WC semifinal between India and Pakistan happened, I had told that it cannot get bigger than that (Nobody cares about the other one anyway). Well.. I, sort of, lied. It does. It has a proper name too. It is called El Clasico. Two of the greatest football clubs in the history of the game play each other twice a year. And if luck allows (by luck I mean if Los Blancos get through) in Cope Del Ray or Champions league. It is the most watched club league match in the world. By this time you would have guessed what I am referring to. It is Football Club Barcelona versus Real Madrid Club de Fútbol, Blaugrana vs Galacticos, Cules vs Meringues, Spanish vs Catalan. You get the point. It is Barca vs Real.

I don’t want to be rude. So let me give you some intro about Real before I talk about my team. Although the football club started in 1897, Madrid FC came to life in 1902. In 1920, the King named it Royal (Real in Spanish) and added the crown as well to the emblem. It has always been supported by Royals and Rich. Even by Satan’s younger brother, General Franco. It is the most decorated club in the Spain, winning more trophies than anyone else. Why not. They had the money and they got the best players by shelling out more money. From De Stefano to Zidane to CRon, they were always able to spend enough to attract big names. FIFA called it the most successful club of the 20th century. Many call it the greatest club of the past century.

Coming to the current best club in the world, FC Barcelona. Now this introduction will be little longer. This is my favourite club and I’m very biased. I have been a Blaugrana follower since 1992. They played the first football match I saw. And they won it. It was the champions league (called Europeran Cup then) final. I loved the club then, I still do. Started in 1899, this club unified the Catalan supporters who saw it as a way to protest against the Royals. The feeling intensified during Rivera and Franco regime as they tried to thwart the Catalans. It did start very well and did give enough scares to Real. But by 1960, Barca had become weak. Enter Johann Cryuff in 73/74 and things looked better again. Although the team did not win many trophies, he helped the team’s morale. Johan Cryuff is a legend in Barcelona. He won the Catalan hearts when he said he preferred Barca to Real as he did not like Franco. The people adored him and they still do. He created wonders when he was a player and returned to form the winning team from ‘88 to ‘96. His tiki-taka did wonders then and still is successful. Even the Spanish national team followed it and won the world cup. Well, it had 7 Barca players which made it easier. Currently, he is the manager of the Catalan national team.

It was 2003 when the club showed intentions of being a world beater instead of just being a La Liga team. Frank Rijkaard changed the course of the club. He brought in Ronaldinho, the buck teethed champion. The Man could create miracles just by touching a football with his feet. Samuel Eto’o was powerful striker and when you add the emergence of Xavi and Iniesta and improved Puyol, people realized that this was no ordinary club. In 2008, the real revolution started. Former player Josep Guardiola took over. And Ronaldinho was let go along with Eto’o . Nobody bothered. Because God had decided that enough was enough and he wanted to play some ball too. Leo Messi had arrived. Xavi and Iniesta reached their prime too. The dreadful years for the opponents had begun. Apart from the loss to Internazionale in Champions league, the team never looked weak. Messi, time and again, made mockery of the defenders and keepers. It became a habit. My supporting of the team through thick and thin was paying off. Barca was humiliating every other team. Inculding Real Madrid.

Real currently is the second best team in Spain and looks like it will stay that way for a while. A great football team cannot be made by assembling great players together. It’s the team that matters. Having said that, I have to acknowledge that Real have a strong lineup. (I am including CRon as well). That’s what makes the Clasico interesting now a days.. Both teams and strong and both teams are winning matches (Barca more than Real.. and Real have not won a El clasico since May 2008). The tiki taka of Barca against powerplay of Real. It is the magician Messi against theatrical Ronaldo. Strong Puyol vs Mercurial Ozil. Brilliant Xavi and awesome Iniesta against.. well. No one.. There is no one in the world who can be compared. Sneijder and Bale in current form are the only names I can think of who come close.

For now, Barca are the better team. In past three years, they have not lost a single match against Real and have scored 5 goals or more twice. When you see how good a lineup Real has, you will realize the class. This month they will facing each other our times. El Clasico, Copa Del Rey finals and Champions Leagues Semifinals. It is going to be one hell of a time. Four times within a month? There will be lot of heart attacks around the world. There will be so many people spending their time glued to the TV or internet during these four days. I am going to be one of them. I am a cule and its cool. After all, Mes Que Un Club. Its more than a club.

Educated, yes. Intelligent?

Intelligent doesn't have to mean educated. And Converse is also true. Educated doesn't mean intelligent. When I see these "secular people", I realize how true it is. Here we have people who are well educated and who can guide people. But instead they are acting like dicks. What is the point when you are doing the same thing which you oppose. Did not get me? Religion. The root of and the "solution" to all problems now a days. Whatever happens, take out the religion card. Is someone doing good? Point out the communal issues. Is someone opposing evil and you don't like it? Point out the communal issues. I read  two important news today and blog is about that. SL Bhyrappa's interview and Medha Patkar's statement about Anna Hazare praising Nitish/Modi.

Now religion is a pretty sensitive issue. Especially when you have over a billion people practicing tens of religions. Politicians have long been using it as a stepping stone for success. Vote banks were created decades ago so that then ruling party can help itself. I'm not saying people are stupid, but they have been letting the 'neta log' make mockery of everything they believe in. Be it ever sensitive Babri, progressive Modi/Nitish or something as trivial as a cricket match, we always are shown the communal context.

We have people like Medha Patkar and Arundhati Roy. I was at first impressed by the way these two ladies fought for the people. So I thought. As i grew older, I realized they are no different than these politicians. Like a kid who soiled themselves, they were always trying to get people's attention. Narmada bachao was a good one I can remember. But finally they ended up with same politicians whom they despised. Money? Fame? or plain crazy? I do not know. I do not care. What I do care is how these "secular people" always play with public sentiment. So many cries were raised and some still try to raise a cry about Godhra. But when 26/11 happened or after a Naxal attack, they are no where to be found.

We caught one bloody idiot of the bunch of bloody idiots who came to destroy the city. Others were killed. One was unable to get his 72 virgins that day. Fine. It should be our Government's duty to make sure he gets there. Virgins or not, let him check it out himself. Why are these "secular people" trying to save him? Why is it that when so many Indians are rotting in the jails of our "bhai", nobody is asking for their release? How come one maniac gets so much importance? Arundhati Roy vouched for Kasab's release. May be we need to release Afzal guru as well. Is she kidding? Is she Serious? What is she smoking? Can she share it?

That's at the national level. If we come to my state, Kannada literature is honoured by presence of a Jnanapeethi. Jnanapeetha literally means seat of wisdom. Here I am tempted to quote YNK. "ಜ್ಞಾನ ಇರುವುದು ಪೀಠದಲ್ಲಲ್ಲ but at the other end". Here is someone who has achieved a lot in literary field but cannot admit that someone else is more popular. Yes, I am talking about URA vs SL Bhyrappa, the man most people of my age prefer to read than anyone else. With the exception of Poornachandra Tejaswi may be. I recently read SLB's interview regarding Saraswati Samman. He said some people do not like it. They tried to prevent it from happening. He is a Kannada literary legend. He surely deserves Jnanapeetha than Mr Peethi himself. Its sad that due to some people's jealousy, he is being denied of something he deserves.


SL Bhyrappa is a social scientist. A man with vast knowledge and wonderful skills for narration. I am only 27 and I may not have read as many books as a buddhijeevi, but I have not read a book better than VamshaVrisksha. I admire the man for his courage. He may sound like someone who supports RSS, but can someone come forward and tell that whatever he has written is not true? If you can, then you are wrong. People who protested against "Aavarana", forgot to check the books he has provided as reference. They were more happy to degrade Bhyrappa personally. It was sick. They even came up with a book to degrade him. They selected articles which condemned Bhyrappa, written by "seculars". How low can you go? Also, has there been any other instance of so many people trying to ruin one person's career and failing?

Sure. It was a controversial subject of Muslim rulers vs Hindu subjects. The seculars were against it. Now hold on a minute. The writers from the kings' court themselves have written about that stuff. What wrong did SLB do? And what about the references he had provided? URA vehemently protested and even wrote a condemning review. Sorry dear sir. You wrote Samskara. A book to mock Brahmins. How is it that you can criticise a certain caste but others can't? Now some people said that it was because he wanted to please a certain political party for the rajyasabha seat. May be true, may not be true. How can one person be ready to lose credibility because he wants power? Oh wait. That doesn't make sense. Anyone can.

SLB has always been attacked for his books. Not for the truthfulness of the content but the nature of it. They say he is biased in his support for a particular religion. God knows when they will realize, they are doing the same. Blaming one religion to score brownie points with another . Same with Medha Patkar. She did not like Mr Hazare's statement it seems. Lady, how hard is it for you to credit where credit's due? Mr Hazare did not support violence. nor did he support the Chief Ministers. The CMs have done an amazing job of transforming their states and he acknowledged that fact. Now if you cannot accept it, that may mean that your brain has gone for a walk. Wait for it to come back. Eventually it may. And truth will dawn on you.

Write to kill.. the time...

Past week saw an unprecedented statistic. I saw three new movies within a week. Two of them had my favourite stars and one of them was pretty bad albeit funny.

First one was Source Code. A time travel sci fi stuff. It was Jake Gyllenhall and Vera Farmiga. About a dead soldier whose partly functioning brain is used to track a train blast. Source code is the system which can be used to send the brain to cover last eight minutes of another person's body. Pretty cool, huh? Jake and Vera Farmiga have done a good job. The ending seems incredible but when you think about it, it does not make any sense. One cannot change the what has happened without any consequences. Here everything seems to have gone well. The loophole reminds you of Back To the Future movies. but whatever it is, it is worth a dekko.

Second one was Your Highness. A totally senseless and mindless movie. It has James Franco (who looks as interested in this movie as he was in Oscars) and Danny McBride as brothers. Zooey Deschanel, the very pretty and talented actress, has been limited to show cleavage and kiss Franco at every opportunity possible. Natalie Portman, the best actress of her generation so far, has it even worse. She is supposed to be a fighter who finally falls in love with, yes, McBride. She tries but is unable to save the movie from the disappointment that it is. There are far more cuss words and vulgar moments than needed. Even though It has some funny moments, its really not worth the money. Skip it. You can watch the trailer instead. That pretty much has all the good bits.

Third and final movie of the week turned out to be the best. Rango, the story of a lizard becoming the hero, is made of stuff everyone likes. (not THAT stuff... the story and acting I mean). Johnny Depp voices a pet lizard who accidentally reaches a desert town, aptly named Dirt (If you heard dirt and imagined Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston kissing, you are more mature than I thought). The lizard by few coincidences/luck and his loud mouth, becomes the town hero and sheriif. The town is facing acute water shortage and how Rango solves it while facing his inner turmoil is the story. Johnny Depp, can be forgiven now for making the Tourist. He carries this movie wonderfully well. Rest chip in. But this movie belongs to Depp. Even though it is an animated fixture, this is not just for the kids. It has intelligent humour and great fun to watch. Definitely worth the money.

In other news, Anna Hazare has ended his fast. Finally the lazy Government decided to wake up before the citizens spanked it like what Max Mosley got in his "films". It is a huge victory for the fight against corruption and it feels good as a citizen. Lets just hope it goes the right way. And Kapil Sibal, the charmer that he is, is claimed to have said that it is due to generosity by Soniaji madam and Mr Singh. I am not sure what he smokes but it may be pretty strong. But it doesn't matter. People have stopped taking him seriously anyway. First Diggi Raja, Now Sibal, where do they find these people anyway. Talking about such people, Yeddi has decided to give the World Cup winners 25 Lakhs instead of plots. All plots in Bangalore are pretty much the Yeddi/Katta property. I wonder what happened all of a sudden.

Also, IPL started. One excitement hardly over, another begins. Anyway, Kochi Tuskers Kerala played their first match in their Orange/purple Jersey (snigger...) and lost. KKR started their IPL campaign as expected by pretty much everyone. They lost. Kings XI and Delhi just bent over and let the other team do whatever they want. Is it getting interesting? It better be. The world cup just ended. If you don't want IPL to feel like an overdose, you better put up a pretty good show. The opening ceremony was not as spectacular as expected. Lalit Modi might have been laughing, like the Joker from that batman movie, watching the way it unfolded.


P.S: I have finally found the one. The car I mean. I was whining about lack of the cars few days back. Finally I found one. Its a 2004 Honda Civic LX Coupe. Silver.  (No smileys here. Just imagine the grinning me...  sporting sunglasses and a Dev Anand style cap. Yep. Cool..)

One fast and a fast one .

Mr Anna Hazare is fasting. It is difficult to fight against corruption when the government is opposing a bill which will help people fight corruption. Way to go Mr Singh. And Kapil Sibal acts like Rakhi Sawant after being kissed by Mika when someone tells him that the politicians are corrupt. Wow. Perhaps thats what we can expect from someone who tried to defend the Government in 2G scam. Partly , we the people, are also responsible for corruption. Most people do not go vote. You cannot sit at home during elections and then complain about bad leaders. I have seen many of my friends skip voting and then complain about bad facilities. It simply will not help.

Now the Government is not ready for the Jan Lokpal bill. Why? You can guess it can't you? For someone who was reluctant to take action against Kalmadi, Raja and has still let Kasab live, this is hardly a surprise. Mr Singh is just a puppet in Italian hands. This has to be the weakest PM we have ever got. Yes Mr Gowda, even though you slept through almost all the meetings and play politics 25 hours a day, you were a better PM. As you can read, Lokpal bill is as good as Lokayukta under Yeddi. Its like a helpless old man.  Just look at the table below. and tell me what sense does the Government draft make? No powers at al for Lokpal. Why even have it? Or you can have it with Sharad Pawar as chairman. Anyway its of no use, let him make some money at least. And the honourable Government is not in a hurry to fix this issue.

For those dummies who still do not know what the fuss is all about, Mr Hazare who is a war veteran who has transformed the village of Ralegan Siddhi into a model village. He is currently fighting for Jan Lokpal bill. jan Lokpal bill was started by India Against Coruption movement. For those who do not know what it is, here is the gist.

Draft Lokpal Bill 2010	Jan Lokpal Bill
Lokpal will have no power to initiate suo moto action or receive complaints of corruption from the general public. It can only probe complaints forwarded by LS Speaker or RS Chairman.	Lokpal will have powers to initiate suo moto action or receive complaints of corruption from the general public.
Lokpal will only be an Advisory Body. Its part is only limited to forwarding its report to the "Competent Authority"	Lokpal will be much more than an Advisory Body. It should be granted powers to initiate Prosecution against anyone found guilty.
Lokpal will not have any police powers. It can not register FIRs or proceed with criminal investigations.	Lokpal will have police powers. To say that it will be able to register FIRs.
CBI and Lokpal will have no connection with each other.	Lokpal and anti corruption wing of CBI will be one Independent body.
Punishment for corruption will be minimum 6 months and maximum up-to 7 years.	The punishment should be minimum 5 years and maximum up-to life imprisonment.
	Lokpal will not be a monopoly for particular area

As soon as the news spread about the fast, all the celebrities woke up from their beauty sleep and put on make up and updated twitter. Apparently they are all totally supporting Mr Hazare in the fight. They do not miss a chance to promote themselves, do they? How many of these are genuine? How low can you go to score PR points? How many of them do actually know what the bill is for?  Even for us, we cannot stop corruption by lighting a candle. People need to stop giving and taking bribes. Although the youth is progressing towards it, the slightly older generation is still the same. Sad part is most people do not care about what is happening. but refuse to admit. Many of you will oppose this and say we support, we fight etc. Its not true. There are more people supporting corruption than fighting it. And indifference is same as supporting corruption.

For once we can stop watching Roadies and reality TV and start working. But again, another major news. Finally the cricket world cup is over and people can get to the real cricket and fierce rivalries. The IPL will begin in couple of days. May be Mr Hazare picked a wrong time to fight. With two new teams. . Kochin Tuskers Kerala, previously known as IndiCommandos(giggle.. ) have the dynamic (giggle again... ) Sreesanth and Pune Warriors have Yuvi and Two of the best RCB batsmen, Robin and Manish. Dr Mallya played a gamble by retaining ony Kohli. It will be curious to see how local fans follow the team now. I, for one, will not be supporting RCB as fervently as I used to. IPL also has a new format now. Overall it looks interesting. Lets see how things go. (Yes. I, like billion others, am gullible to cricket. When the topic starts, I cannot stop). But even as a cricket fan, I really hope there are more people fighting for the cause than for the cup.

Forgiving is overrated...

When I was young and did not have enough gray cells to think about all this, I believed in God very much. I'm a Brahmin. My folks are supposed to be his biggest believers. We do pooja and stuff. So we are supposed to beieve in whatever BJP tells us (Ashish Shakya's statement modified a bit). There have been some blacksheep as well. But every group has their own Shakti Kapoors doing aauuuu at the society. Anyways, It was decided that what we had done centuries ago had to be stopped finally. He sent Arjun Singh. We are getting paid back, in terms of you know.. reservations..... Anyhow I started thinking about all this when my mom fell ill (full filmi I know). She recovered. But my faith did not.

As I said, I am a brahmin. I am supposed to chant mantras and shlokas. Let me be honest. Almost all my clan can recite huge books by heart. I on the other hand know one mantra. or two. Three at max. I do not feel guilty. I will not make an effort to learn either. I know what I am. My parents did not try to force things on me and I am happy about it. I am not sure if something else will happen which will make me believe in him again. My wife will be happy if that happens. Three days of marriage was the biggest challenge I have had. Sittng there in front of the fire and not really believing in what was being done. It was a moral dilemma. But I sat through. Because it meant that I will get what I want.

Now, I'm not an atheist. Im not religious either. I do believe that there is some supernatural entity which is looking over us. And when they come in their huge spaceships, we shall kneel and be their slaves. OK coming back.. What has been happening around me has made me unsure. Don't give me hope faith etc. I don't believe in them either. If you say he is kind, why are people dying miserable deaths? Is he such a petty person to think about a person's past to ruin their present and future ? Isn't he the one who is responsible for one's creation? Wouldn't that make him responsible for the evil things being done by man (and women as well) ?

God is watching.. The most common statement used by the believers to scare the wrongdoers and ones who doubt him. Really? Is he watching? If he is watching "us", what about all the people who are struggling to make ends meet? Who is going to take care of them? Apparently, they would hv committed some sins in their previous life or some shit like that. Come on people. Its God. The G-Man (Sorry Arnab. Its the only time I'm gonna use it for anyone else. Promise). The entity who is supposed to make sure everything is alright. The epitome of kindness and all.

Today in twitter, I read couple of updates which made me ponder. One was a statement saying forgiving is overrated and the other about God being judgemental. If God is really a God, shouldn't he have "godlike" reasoning? Why should he be judgemental? Does he really hate homosexuals and sinners? Does he really order to kill people who do believe in other gods? What is all the brouhaha about? Isn't he supposed to be forgiving? Everywhere, in all holy books, you read about God is forgiving, kind, loving etc. Fine. but then why does he talk about killing people who sin or do not believe in him? Suddeny what happened to forgiving?

Many people cringe when I discuss these things. I do not want to brand it as lack of open mindedness. Poeple do not want to come out of their shell of belief and I do not blame them. No. I am not a liberated soul trying to open others' eyes. The problem I have faced is, Whenever the topic comes and I say I do not beieve in festivities, I get a stare. Believe me, I have come across many such people who treated me as if I have done somethign wrong. They believe in God and so should I? How is it a criticism to discuss his weakness? Don't tell me he doesn't have any. After all man created God as much as God created man.

We have extremists in all religions who try to prove that their God is the best and strongest. It is like the Dhara ad which used to air when I was young. "My daddy strongest". Its a pity. You have loads of people trying to kill everyone else because they dont believe that other religions shoudl exist. You have another person trying to burn the holy book of another religion. The holy shrines are being attacked, the people are being killed. So many people are being killed in the name of God. Even a cricket match between two countries is treated as fight between right and wrong. Where the hell is he? Shoudln't he be come down here, slap them and telling them to shut the %^&* up? Is he just a puppet in his followers' hands?　
Nietzsche has pretty much summed up for me. " God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we ourselves not become gods simply to appear worthy of it?"
P.S : AN Murthy Rao has, IMO, written the best book about God. In his book called Devaru, he discusses the tendency of a human being to depend on supernatural. This is a must read.
Also, this was not written to hurt anyone. I just write what comes across my mind. I am also a mean person who is not open to criticism about my beliefs.

People of Earth, rejoice.. His day came...

Finally the day has come. The day world cup will remember fondly. The day it was won by him. Now the world cup can retire peacefully and spend its days on its front porch sleeping on a hammock. Although he did not play a major part in the final, he was the reason why they were there. The whole of India had dreamt of this moment. He had tears of joy, whole country cried with him. Team mates carried him around the ground for the victory lap. As the Virat Kohli rightly put, For twenty one years he had carried India on his shoulders and they were paying him back. Dhoni had told that this world cup will be won for him and it seemed that he himself would have to win it. But when needed the team stepped up and delivered the cup.

It was a tense moment. People had been expecting India to play in the final ever since the world cup schedule was announced. Huge pressure moment for the team. And this team led by Dhoni deserved to win. Sure Dhoni has taken some bold steps which have paid off most of the times. Would that make him shrewd? I still would say he is a good captain, not great. His success rate for bold decisions of the day was 50%, which will not mean intelligent captain. You have 50% chance in coin flip. When you call it right, you don't say that you are a very intelligent gambler and go start betting on more. Move of getting Sreesanth backfired. He would need more of such victories to stand along side Llyods and Kapils and Imran Khans. I feel one day he will. What gives me authority to judge a player? How many international matches have I played? Doesn't matter. In the end the team is playing for people like me and I am entitled to my opinion.

There were couple of surprises early. Biggest being, I woke up very early ( read 5AM. Last time I woke up at 5 AM was when my dad use to wake me up for my II PU exams. He was up and excited and I used to slowly nod at the books) to watch the match. I had asked my wife to wake me up. Being very Indian to the core in time sense, she tried calling at 7:30. I, after knowing her for some years now, had a backup system ready. Tea was ready and they said Sreesanth was playing instead of Ashwin which made me choke on tea. Nehra, whose bones are made of wafers apparently, had injured himslef for the 128186138th time and was unavailable. Sanga thought he can better it and put Randeev in ahead of Mendis. I am not sure how smart a move it is to select someone who was not even in squad till few days ago ahead of someone who, even though did not take much wickets, had a tight line and an economy rate of 3.14. (stat courtesy : cricinfo) Turns out neither did Sanga. After the toss confusion, Lankans decided to bat. Turns out the lady luck who handles toss division doesn't like Dhoni much.

Anyways, the beginning was near perfect for the men in blue and Zak bowled three maiden and sent Tharanga back. That was one of the finest spells by him. Runs came at a steady pace and in second surprising move Kulasekara was sent in at no.7. This was a good move as he helped Mahela to up the ante. Now, Mahela is a wonderful strokemaker and he showed why he is regarded as a class act. I could not resist applauding the delightful shots all around the park. He is the sixth player to score a century in world cup finals. Perera who came in after Kulasekhara was out, carted few big ones and the score reached 274. Turns out India can screw up the batting powerplay while bowling too. Zak, who had been wonderful in his first 5, went for 54 in his last 5. The over rate was terrible by the way.

When India came to bat, they came with a legacy of not winning a single chase in finals against Ravan XI since 2000. Three of which were lost by more than 100 runs (stat courtesy : cricinfo). But things have changed now I thought. Wham.. Slinga' takes Sehwag off in second delivery of the innings. Despair.. The old bollywood movie scene where a lady, on hearing the news of her husband's death, screams "Nahiiiiii" and breaks bangles started running in my head.... Soon Slinga' did the unthinkable. Lacking any team spirit, he claimed the wicket of his Mumbai Indian's captain. The MI owner was watching the match too, Lasith. Tough Luck. Everyone was gasping in horror. Stadium went silent. He was gone.. Now there were two ladies breaking bangles..

Virat and Gambhir steadied the ship and kept rotating strikes. Two good lads playing wonderful knocks in the match of their lives. Virat was unlucky to be out. Just when you are about chant "Yuvi.. Yuvi..", what do you see? It's captain courageous himslef. Dhoni had promoted himself. Turned out to be a good move. He can play well under pressure, that Dhoni. He and Gambhir built one of the most significant partnerships ever in the history of Indian ODI cricket. Dhoni played a captain's knock, one of the greatest innings' I have ever seen. The calmness with which he collected runs making sure that the run rate never climbed was very impressive.

My roommate and I were relieved to see this cool and calculated innings by Gambhir. 97* and 3 short of a marvellous century. Suddenly, he becomes a headless chicken again. Down the ground he goes only to see his middle stump pegged. Bad choice. But still, that was a very good knock and it felt bad to see him miss a deserving century. Did Lankan hopes revive? Not a chance. We still had Man of the series Yuvi. Dhoni even though struggling was still too good for the Lankans. Finally with four required, he hoists the ball into orbit. India have won. India have won. And as David Lloyd requested, Tuk Tuks had started. India had wone a deserving world cup. Beating Australia, Pakistan and Sri Lanka in style and as a team. As I saw him being carried by the team, I had to agree. He deserved it more than anyone ever did. An incredible sportsman winning the ultimate prize. What can be better?

Watching the match via streaming can be a rather irritating task. Just when the situation became tense, the servers would go off air. Or when the batsmen are about to play a stroke, streaming would hang. I do not know how it chose the precise moments. And in between we had Veet trying to show us what beauty feels like. Or Airwick showing how good scents can change the house dynamics. One needs the patience to endure all this for the good bits (There.. I summed up marriage for you) and it was worth all this. Eventually my work is going to push me back to depression mode. But for next few days, I will feel happy. Let me savour the moment. WE ARE THE WORLD CHAMPIONS......