A missing Doctor and an ever present Yoga teacher

So much happening in this nation and the person who is supposed to take the responsibility to set everything in order is not to be seen?  No. We are not talking about the most powerful lady in the world. We are talking about a doctor. Actually we wanted to title this “is there a Doctor in the house” or “Doctor Doctor give me the news”. Doctor Doctor is one of our favourite songs for now. Ever since we heard that song in Scrubs we have been fans of the song. OK topic.. We are looking for not just any doctor. The doctor who is running the house. OK not exactly running. Dancing would be the better word. He is the Muppet in the Italian hands. MMS as he is known in youth of this age. Dr Man Mohan Singh. Where is he? Where has he gone? Has madam grounded him as punishment for something?  Or Is he waiting for Madam to send the dialogues and screenplay?

How spineless is our prime minister? And how sad is it that even Devegowda looks like a brave PM when compared? It is very sad indeed. We had Anna fast his way to get Jan Lokpal. With that being going on like a stuck record, we now have the Yogaman coming out to fast. Seriously. How bad is the situation for UPA?  You have to acknowledge that it is grave. Next election will be very interesting to watch. What’s with Baba Ramdev anyway? Doesn’t he have a Yoga class to teach? OK now you would ask us to stop and be reasonable. Surely he is doing it for the nation you think. Well, he may. We don’t know/ but we think this is pathetic. When he talks about Swiss bank and black money, surely he hasn’t realized his own worth. His worth is estimated at several hundred crores and the man owns an entire friggin’ island.

If you want to talk about self-worth and being clean and stuff, surely you should show your wealth first. And you being the owner of several hundred crores, cannot act like a messiah of poor by stretching your stomach and folding yourself like a chair. Now, you think we have over done it a little. We say sod off. We stick by our opinion. He may have showed lot of people how to keep themselves in good health and stuff. Interesting and good for him. But it is the same man who called homosexuality a sickness and wanted to cure it. The same guy who said he can cure cancer by Yoga. The same guy who wanted to replace sex education in schools with Yoga. Clearly kids, how do you stop teenage pregnancy? Try Shalabhasana*. Understand that we are not against Baba Ramdev the Yoga guy. But we are not supporting him as a corruption fighter and his morals.

Now he is not happy with the khavi. He wants to don Khadi as well. His followers are already in halla bol mode now that he has been arrested.  Ramdev has decided to have his supporters contesting the elections. His party called Swabhimaan Abhiyaan will contest next Lok Sabha elections. His party will cleanse the political system, fight corruption and win the next Lok Sabha election it seems. Clearly the public is facing the case of choosing lesser of the devils. You have the Ruling party which is busy shooting itself in its foot and the opposition which is more helpless than a guy who dropped soap in prison bath. While we hope the Anna does provide a way, we are not sure how and when. And we are also not sure how much time it will take for Ramdev to align himself with another political party.

Also, did u see the news about a Janardhan Dwivedi? Heard the name before? Don’t worry. Not many had heard either. Somebody threw a show at him and suddenly he has become famous. He is using this situation for political gain very well. Already the blame has been made on Ramdev’s fans, the BJP, the RSS. He can become the next Diggy raja. Speaking of Diggy Raja, you can surely expect some fireworks from the man who puts the mad in madness . He has come out and said Ramdev is a cheat who is trying agitate people. Now now. Diggy Raja is the last person you would expect to talk some sense. And it is true. He has wasted no time in calling Ramdev a RSS man and also defended the tear gas and baton usage of police on the Ramdev supporters as “in public interest”.

This is where we need someone to step up and bring some peace. We have people like Sibal and Diggy Raja who want to prove everything is done by BJP/RSS and some certain people are the weakest and cleanest bunch of people. We have the opposition which is busy dancing at Satyagrahas or trying to save Yeddi. We have rest of the regional parties fighting between themselves to show who is the boss in their states. WTF is happening? Where is that person who is supposed to restore normalcy? Hiding in some closet? We always felt that he was a good economist but not a politician. Forget about Ramdev entering politics. We want Dr Singh to enter politics first. He should stop hiding behind madam and face the field. This is where we miss Atalji. We are going ahead and naming him the best PM the country ever had. And we want him to find some anti-ageing solution and become young and lead us again. Yes. We would love that.

* We do not know. It was meant as a joke. Now we feel it may be a bit tasteless but we are not going to erase. We feel we may just have proved that we have more balls than the man who is leading us by just being firm about our choice of joke. Yes. That's how bad we feel the UPA leadership is.

the Insanely awesome and the just insane

How long does it take to proclaim a player to be greatest in his sport? Ah come on.. We are not talking about him. Please. This is not about cricket. This is about the beautiful game and the most beautiful way it has been played ever. We are passing a resolution that Messi be called the greatest player ever. Don't tell us that its too soon. Its been what, seven years in top flight football. We also will call Xavi as the greatest mid fielder ever and the trio of Xavi,Iniesta and Messi as the most awesome team of all time. We do not care if you think that we are surely talking as a Cule here. After watching the second goal by Messi, we wanted to officially announce that we are considering him as the greatest player now. Just ahead of another short statured, albeit troubled, genius Diego Armando Maradona.

We also want to smirk (or snide or boo or just laugh? we are not sure here..) at Jose "The Mouth" Mourinho. The special one as he is called by his fans, needs to go the place where "special" people are taken care of. Clearly he is losing his marbles. Or that win against Barca in Copa Del Ray has gone to his head. We are not sure what is happening. Blaming it on unholy nexus between referees and opposition manager has been his thing for some time now. But blaming UNICEF for his defeat is clearly the nadir he can reach. But again, we can be wrong (which happens more frequently than Ind vs Srl cricket matches). He doubts whether the UNICEF advertisement is the reason why Barca are getting help from referees. Any 'normal' person who has eyes and has seen the aforementioned awesome trio play, can doubt alien conspiracy. But Mourinho? No. He is special. Clearly.

Talking about insane people, let us talk about Congress Government. Let us make it clear. We are not talking about the one minister here. We would be baffled on whom to pick as our favourite. The ruling party rejected (we are really not sure why are surprised.. ) the report by the Public Account's Committee set up for 2G scam probe. We do not know how low a Government can go to protect the tainted ministers but this is something even Zardari should be proud of. Mr Singh is coming as a really bad person here. No we take it back. Madam decides all of this. We are not angry with you Mr Singh. You look more uncomfortable than a smiling Ajay Devgan. We just pity you for being the most spineless PM our country has ever had. We started calling you Mr Singh since nobody was respecting you and we thought you were a honest person. Now we may need stop that.

About the report, The Chairman of the committee would usually be a opposition leader, in this case Murli Manohar Joshi. Well, we know that MM Joshi has not been a great advocate of peace and justice. But still, expulsion of the chairman to get your message makes the Madam and her team look like they are scared of something. The Government even took help from Mayawati and Mulayam Singh's parties. Yes. The epitome of sincerity and professionalism, those two. We will go ahead and assume that we (not just us. In general) are to assume that the Government is afraid about having a probe? No. Do not go to innuendos and start laughing about PM and probing. That is disgusting and we (in this case us) are disappointed. No actually, we are more disappointed because we cannot make such jokes anymore.

You think we are biased against the Government and the Madam? No we are not. We comment on Yeddi as well. So don't consider us to be a BJP sympathizer. Anyway, do you know how many scandals have happened in last three years? No? Google it. No go on.. we will wait here.. Did you check? Yes.. There are many, aren't there? Every week so many new ones come up that you can actually play Superhit Muqabla. We can totally imagine Baba Sehgal rapping about the scandals while hosting the show. Ah. Yes. We would love that.

Educated, yes. Intelligent?

Intelligent doesn't have to mean educated. And Converse is also true. Educated doesn't mean intelligent. When I see these "secular people", I realize how true it is. Here we have people who are well educated and who can guide people. But instead they are acting like dicks. What is the point when you are doing the same thing which you oppose. Did not get me? Religion. The root of and the "solution" to all problems now a days. Whatever happens, take out the religion card. Is someone doing good? Point out the communal issues. Is someone opposing evil and you don't like it? Point out the communal issues. I read  two important news today and blog is about that. SL Bhyrappa's interview and Medha Patkar's statement about Anna Hazare praising Nitish/Modi.

Now religion is a pretty sensitive issue. Especially when you have over a billion people practicing tens of religions. Politicians have long been using it as a stepping stone for success. Vote banks were created decades ago so that then ruling party can help itself. I'm not saying people are stupid, but they have been letting the 'neta log' make mockery of everything they believe in. Be it ever sensitive Babri, progressive Modi/Nitish or something as trivial as a cricket match, we always are shown the communal context.

We have people like Medha Patkar and Arundhati Roy. I was at first impressed by the way these two ladies fought for the people. So I thought. As i grew older, I realized they are no different than these politicians. Like a kid who soiled themselves, they were always trying to get people's attention. Narmada bachao was a good one I can remember. But finally they ended up with same politicians whom they despised. Money? Fame? or plain crazy? I do not know. I do not care. What I do care is how these "secular people" always play with public sentiment. So many cries were raised and some still try to raise a cry about Godhra. But when 26/11 happened or after a Naxal attack, they are no where to be found.

We caught one bloody idiot of the bunch of bloody idiots who came to destroy the city. Others were killed. One was unable to get his 72 virgins that day. Fine. It should be our Government's duty to make sure he gets there. Virgins or not, let him check it out himself. Why are these "secular people" trying to save him? Why is it that when so many Indians are rotting in the jails of our "bhai", nobody is asking for their release? How come one maniac gets so much importance? Arundhati Roy vouched for Kasab's release. May be we need to release Afzal guru as well. Is she kidding? Is she Serious? What is she smoking? Can she share it?

That's at the national level. If we come to my state, Kannada literature is honoured by presence of a Jnanapeethi. Jnanapeetha literally means seat of wisdom. Here I am tempted to quote YNK. "ಜ್ಞಾನ ಇರುವುದು ಪೀಠದಲ್ಲಲ್ಲ but at the other end". Here is someone who has achieved a lot in literary field but cannot admit that someone else is more popular. Yes, I am talking about URA vs SL Bhyrappa, the man most people of my age prefer to read than anyone else. With the exception of Poornachandra Tejaswi may be. I recently read SLB's interview regarding Saraswati Samman. He said some people do not like it. They tried to prevent it from happening. He is a Kannada literary legend. He surely deserves Jnanapeetha than Mr Peethi himself. Its sad that due to some people's jealousy, he is being denied of something he deserves.


SL Bhyrappa is a social scientist. A man with vast knowledge and wonderful skills for narration. I am only 27 and I may not have read as many books as a buddhijeevi, but I have not read a book better than VamshaVrisksha. I admire the man for his courage. He may sound like someone who supports RSS, but can someone come forward and tell that whatever he has written is not true? If you can, then you are wrong. People who protested against "Aavarana", forgot to check the books he has provided as reference. They were more happy to degrade Bhyrappa personally. It was sick. They even came up with a book to degrade him. They selected articles which condemned Bhyrappa, written by "seculars". How low can you go? Also, has there been any other instance of so many people trying to ruin one person's career and failing?

Sure. It was a controversial subject of Muslim rulers vs Hindu subjects. The seculars were against it. Now hold on a minute. The writers from the kings' court themselves have written about that stuff. What wrong did SLB do? And what about the references he had provided? URA vehemently protested and even wrote a condemning review. Sorry dear sir. You wrote Samskara. A book to mock Brahmins. How is it that you can criticise a certain caste but others can't? Now some people said that it was because he wanted to please a certain political party for the rajyasabha seat. May be true, may not be true. How can one person be ready to lose credibility because he wants power? Oh wait. That doesn't make sense. Anyone can.

SLB has always been attacked for his books. Not for the truthfulness of the content but the nature of it. They say he is biased in his support for a particular religion. God knows when they will realize, they are doing the same. Blaming one religion to score brownie points with another . Same with Medha Patkar. She did not like Mr Hazare's statement it seems. Lady, how hard is it for you to credit where credit's due? Mr Hazare did not support violence. nor did he support the Chief Ministers. The CMs have done an amazing job of transforming their states and he acknowledged that fact. Now if you cannot accept it, that may mean that your brain has gone for a walk. Wait for it to come back. Eventually it may. And truth will dawn on you.

Write to kill.. the time...

Past week saw an unprecedented statistic. I saw three new movies within a week. Two of them had my favourite stars and one of them was pretty bad albeit funny.

First one was Source Code. A time travel sci fi stuff. It was Jake Gyllenhall and Vera Farmiga. About a dead soldier whose partly functioning brain is used to track a train blast. Source code is the system which can be used to send the brain to cover last eight minutes of another person's body. Pretty cool, huh? Jake and Vera Farmiga have done a good job. The ending seems incredible but when you think about it, it does not make any sense. One cannot change the what has happened without any consequences. Here everything seems to have gone well. The loophole reminds you of Back To the Future movies. but whatever it is, it is worth a dekko.

Second one was Your Highness. A totally senseless and mindless movie. It has James Franco (who looks as interested in this movie as he was in Oscars) and Danny McBride as brothers. Zooey Deschanel, the very pretty and talented actress, has been limited to show cleavage and kiss Franco at every opportunity possible. Natalie Portman, the best actress of her generation so far, has it even worse. She is supposed to be a fighter who finally falls in love with, yes, McBride. She tries but is unable to save the movie from the disappointment that it is. There are far more cuss words and vulgar moments than needed. Even though It has some funny moments, its really not worth the money. Skip it. You can watch the trailer instead. That pretty much has all the good bits.

Third and final movie of the week turned out to be the best. Rango, the story of a lizard becoming the hero, is made of stuff everyone likes. (not THAT stuff... the story and acting I mean). Johnny Depp voices a pet lizard who accidentally reaches a desert town, aptly named Dirt (If you heard dirt and imagined Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston kissing, you are more mature than I thought). The lizard by few coincidences/luck and his loud mouth, becomes the town hero and sheriif. The town is facing acute water shortage and how Rango solves it while facing his inner turmoil is the story. Johnny Depp, can be forgiven now for making the Tourist. He carries this movie wonderfully well. Rest chip in. But this movie belongs to Depp. Even though it is an animated fixture, this is not just for the kids. It has intelligent humour and great fun to watch. Definitely worth the money.

In other news, Anna Hazare has ended his fast. Finally the lazy Government decided to wake up before the citizens spanked it like what Max Mosley got in his "films". It is a huge victory for the fight against corruption and it feels good as a citizen. Lets just hope it goes the right way. And Kapil Sibal, the charmer that he is, is claimed to have said that it is due to generosity by Soniaji madam and Mr Singh. I am not sure what he smokes but it may be pretty strong. But it doesn't matter. People have stopped taking him seriously anyway. First Diggi Raja, Now Sibal, where do they find these people anyway. Talking about such people, Yeddi has decided to give the World Cup winners 25 Lakhs instead of plots. All plots in Bangalore are pretty much the Yeddi/Katta property. I wonder what happened all of a sudden.

Also, IPL started. One excitement hardly over, another begins. Anyway, Kochi Tuskers Kerala played their first match in their Orange/purple Jersey (snigger...) and lost. KKR started their IPL campaign as expected by pretty much everyone. They lost. Kings XI and Delhi just bent over and let the other team do whatever they want. Is it getting interesting? It better be. The world cup just ended. If you don't want IPL to feel like an overdose, you better put up a pretty good show. The opening ceremony was not as spectacular as expected. Lalit Modi might have been laughing, like the Joker from that batman movie, watching the way it unfolded.


P.S: I have finally found the one. The car I mean. I was whining about lack of the cars few days back. Finally I found one. Its a 2004 Honda Civic LX Coupe. Silver.  (No smileys here. Just imagine the grinning me...  sporting sunglasses and a Dev Anand style cap. Yep. Cool..)

One fast and a fast one .

Mr Anna Hazare is fasting. It is difficult to fight against corruption when the government is opposing a bill which will help people fight corruption. Way to go Mr Singh. And Kapil Sibal acts like Rakhi Sawant after being kissed by Mika when someone tells him that the politicians are corrupt. Wow. Perhaps thats what we can expect from someone who tried to defend the Government in 2G scam. Partly , we the people, are also responsible for corruption. Most people do not go vote. You cannot sit at home during elections and then complain about bad leaders. I have seen many of my friends skip voting and then complain about bad facilities. It simply will not help.

Now the Government is not ready for the Jan Lokpal bill. Why? You can guess it can't you? For someone who was reluctant to take action against Kalmadi, Raja and has still let Kasab live, this is hardly a surprise. Mr Singh is just a puppet in Italian hands. This has to be the weakest PM we have ever got. Yes Mr Gowda, even though you slept through almost all the meetings and play politics 25 hours a day, you were a better PM. As you can read, Lokpal bill is as good as Lokayukta under Yeddi. Its like a helpless old man.  Just look at the table below. and tell me what sense does the Government draft make? No powers at al for Lokpal. Why even have it? Or you can have it with Sharad Pawar as chairman. Anyway its of no use, let him make some money at least. And the honourable Government is not in a hurry to fix this issue.

For those dummies who still do not know what the fuss is all about, Mr Hazare who is a war veteran who has transformed the village of Ralegan Siddhi into a model village. He is currently fighting for Jan Lokpal bill. jan Lokpal bill was started by India Against Coruption movement. For those who do not know what it is, here is the gist.

Draft Lokpal Bill 2010	Jan Lokpal Bill
Lokpal will have no power to initiate suo moto action or receive complaints of corruption from the general public. It can only probe complaints forwarded by LS Speaker or RS Chairman.	Lokpal will have powers to initiate suo moto action or receive complaints of corruption from the general public.
Lokpal will only be an Advisory Body. Its part is only limited to forwarding its report to the "Competent Authority"	Lokpal will be much more than an Advisory Body. It should be granted powers to initiate Prosecution against anyone found guilty.
Lokpal will not have any police powers. It can not register FIRs or proceed with criminal investigations.	Lokpal will have police powers. To say that it will be able to register FIRs.
CBI and Lokpal will have no connection with each other.	Lokpal and anti corruption wing of CBI will be one Independent body.
Punishment for corruption will be minimum 6 months and maximum up-to 7 years.	The punishment should be minimum 5 years and maximum up-to life imprisonment.
	Lokpal will not be a monopoly for particular area

As soon as the news spread about the fast, all the celebrities woke up from their beauty sleep and put on make up and updated twitter. Apparently they are all totally supporting Mr Hazare in the fight. They do not miss a chance to promote themselves, do they? How many of these are genuine? How low can you go to score PR points? How many of them do actually know what the bill is for?  Even for us, we cannot stop corruption by lighting a candle. People need to stop giving and taking bribes. Although the youth is progressing towards it, the slightly older generation is still the same. Sad part is most people do not care about what is happening. but refuse to admit. Many of you will oppose this and say we support, we fight etc. Its not true. There are more people supporting corruption than fighting it. And indifference is same as supporting corruption.

For once we can stop watching Roadies and reality TV and start working. But again, another major news. Finally the cricket world cup is over and people can get to the real cricket and fierce rivalries. The IPL will begin in couple of days. May be Mr Hazare picked a wrong time to fight. With two new teams. . Kochin Tuskers Kerala, previously known as IndiCommandos(giggle.. ) have the dynamic (giggle again... ) Sreesanth and Pune Warriors have Yuvi and Two of the best RCB batsmen, Robin and Manish. Dr Mallya played a gamble by retaining ony Kohli. It will be curious to see how local fans follow the team now. I, for one, will not be supporting RCB as fervently as I used to. IPL also has a new format now. Overall it looks interesting. Lets see how things go. (Yes. I, like billion others, am gullible to cricket. When the topic starts, I cannot stop). But even as a cricket fan, I really hope there are more people fighting for the cause than for the cup.

All hail vote banks..

Arjun Singh died recently. I dont know if he had a reservation quota set for who will be carrying him. Some people say that you should not speak ill of the dead. but this was no great man. Heck, not a good man either. He was vote bank politician. A wonderful manipulator. The "handy" party has always been good at supporting one family and one caste. but who am I to judge.

I am a Hindu. but that does not mean that I believe in everything BJP/RSS says. They have their own votebank politics going on. All these slogans about Hindu Jagruthi etc means wooing the Hindu's for their vote. May be thats how India is. People do more to their castes than the general society

Why do I hate Arjun Singh? Politicians like him are giving people reasons to divide and fight. Rahul Gandhi recently announced that RSS was as dangerous as SIMI. That doesnt make any sense to me (No,I do not what he was smoking). He looks like a promising young leader but talking like this is not going to help. Mommy is busy teaching Mr Manmohan Singh on how to be the Man.

Wait.. Am I writing a hate blog? yes. I am. This was the person who wanted reservations at IIMs and IITs. Now, I'm not against reservations. but there has to be a limit. General merit should be valued at such places. Its ok for all other schools and colleges. Everyone deserves education. IIMs and IITs are the best places to study in India. Students should get into them by their sheer merit. not because they have caste advantage.

This is the same guy who was the CM of MP during Bhopal gas tragedy. I'm not sure how good his conscience was when he chose to be silent instead of fighting against Warren Anderson/Union Carbide. May be his loyalty stopped him to do it. And his loyalty to one family instead of the country is another reason.

And there is the Churhat lottery and Kerwa Dam palace controversy. The scam with lottery and how he got a nice "house" built. Oh, there was a donation by Union Carbide as well for this. Ans then there was Deemed University status given to private educational institutions which did not meet the educational standards and had to be repealed later.

People who support him say he tried bringing social equilibirum.. Balderdash. That man was as vote centered as any other politician. Bottom line he is definitely not going to heaven. If the God fellow has a conscience that is. Thats one thing I firmly believe.

P.S: Read few obituaries. Not many people had good things to say. Wonder what mine would say...